November 26, 2015

Brett Knows How To Please Women

If you're a longtime reader of the site, you've probably deduced this by now, but let me spell it out for the rest of you:   I know what women want.   When it comes to getting my wife in the right state of mind*, or any woman, I totally nail it.

Well, allow me to add this caveat:  It's not so much what women want, so much as what middle-aged married women want.  There's one thing that gets to them like nothing else.  More than flowers, or music, or presents, or chocolate, or even pheremones.  You can practically make their eyes dilate with joy when applied properly.

It's a little move known as cleanin' the kitchen, if you catch my drift, playa.

Um, just to be clear:  I really mean cleaning the kitchen.   And I'm not referring to just putting your dishes in the sink.  This shit's for real.

I mean washing all the dishes and putting them away.  I mean putting away EVERYTHING so that the counters are as bare as possible.   All dishes must be cleaned and put away.  Nothing is in the sink.  Dishwasher, garbage and recycling must all be near-empty; if any are even close to full, clear them.

Ideally, you wash the countertops with a mild cleaner, and polish any chrome. Then use a deeper cleaner on every appliance face, to get them all perfect.  Give the interior of the sink a good scrubbing, and/or mop the floor, if it needs it (and it probably does).

For full effect, naturally the kitchen must be initially messy -- like a "hurried breakfast" where not all the dishes made it to the sink, and the counters are all kind of cluttered and gross. 

Make a kitchen like that sparkle, and she will definitely be in the right state of mind.

Anyway, wives love that cleanin' shit.

* I imagine most married men caught my reference to "right state of mind" right away.   But to clarify for other readers, I simply mean "off my back."

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